As I sit...

At home tonight and contemplate this past year, I realize that I need to give thanks.  In spite of things not going how I planned, or things being crazy in the world (Middle East), no matter how terrible, how sucky, how great or wonderful things have been, I am reminded to give thanks in all situations and to be grateful for every experience that has shaped who I am today.  It's hard sometimes to be grateful for the different opportunities because we often don't see the product or fruit of our labor till afterwards or further along in the future.

I do know that this next year will bring a lot of new surprises...in my own life and in the world.  On a global scale this next year will be interesting.  Poverty is still an issue, especially now that there is a recession.  Jobs are not secure and people are hurting all over the world.  There are still a lot of people who have yet to hear the Gospel, people who are fighting (whether it's a War or a dispute within the family).  People still suffer whether they've done good things or bad things.  Good things will still happen to people who don't deserve it and bad things will happen to good people.  Life isn't fair and often it feels like no one else feels the way I feel or knows what it's like.  Often we feel betrayed or alone at the end of the day.

It is my hope that this next year I will begin to live my life in such a way that I will make more of an impact in all of those areas.  I'm not sure how or what I will be doing in order to help, but I know that I want to start doing something because these are all things I care about and am passionate about.  I don't want to regret anything that I do or don't do in this life.  I only have one life to live and to give and I want to make it count.  Even if at the end of it all, no one knows who I am...it's the idea that I did something.  It doesn't have to be on a large scale, but I don't want to be a bump on the log anymore and I don't want life to pass me by.  

New Year's Eve

Woo Hoo!  It's the end of the year and the beginning of a new one.  What's not to love?  It's a chance for a fresh start and for most people, a new outlook on life and everything in it.  Funny how that works...when something ends, something new begins.  

This year I'm not doing anything too spectacular.  Staying in and sleeping.  I may stay up long enough to watch the fireworks on TV, but I think I will be in my apartment for most of the evening.  Tomorrow I want to take more pictures...so I may pick up some more film tonight and then work on filling up 5 rolls so I can get them developed. :) 

I must've done my celebrating early because last night I stayed up till 4:00 a.m. with friends.  It was a great night, but a bit over the top too...I think we all had too much, if you know what I mean.  I ended my night by crawling into a closet and sleeping there.  At least the closet had a mattress and a pillow.  

I am officially done moving and now have everything in the world to unpack and arrange.  Not sure how I'm going to decorate my apartment, but it's exciting to think that I get to choose how things are done.  Not that this place is going to look incredibly classy or sophisticated...just nice and homey.  Kind of like growing up...I'd love to get nice things, but instead I'll have mismatched furniture and random pieces of art all over the place.  And I'm excited for that.  

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone.  I hope this new year brings a lot of surprises, great memories, new challenges and a lot of great relationships. :)

Family

You gotta love family, but man! Sometimes they can do some hurtful things without meaning to. Like playing board games. You'd think it was harmless fun...maybe I'm just overly sensitive. Either way though, it felt like my family was making fun of me. Little comments here and there about making poor choices, confusing people and doing the wrong thing. It all built up during a game of monopoly and I lost it. I started crying and went to my room.

Everyone came and apologized after I left the room mid-game, but it's hard to go back when you can hear them talking about the whole episode down the hall in the other room. I'm supposed to go back and join them for a viewing of Kung Fu Panda and I'm sure I'll make it back to the room. I just need a few minutes to clear my head.

Sigh...makes me wonder how many times I think I'm doing something harmless when it really is hurtful. Like all of the teasing I do. Makes one think...are the things I am doing and saying helping a person and making them feel loved or are they hurting those that I love?

Teh Internets

So my parents disable the internet every evening in their home in order to keep my oldest brother from playing online games (WOW) all night long. I suppose it's a good thing, but it's also frustrating to me.

Not only do they have an ISP filter that blocks Flickr, but they turn the router off so I can't chat online to friends, facebook, dink around and overall, just entertain myself when I'm bored at night and my other brother has taken over the TV. The joys of being the youngest!

Kind of sucks that my parents have to resort to turning off teh internets every evening. I can understand the mentality behind it and it probably is a good thing for my oldest brother. I suppose it's a kick in the butt for me as well. It means I should be off reading a book or magazine; socializing with the family rather than doing everything online in a virtual world. It's the same concept of what they want my oldest brother to do. Get out and do something....interact with people.

Who knew human interaction is so important to our mental health and ability to be happy beings. God designed us this way. Cool, huh?!? The fact that we need community and the relationships that we form are things that can make us happy and feel good. We an buy things online, chat online, Skype or whatever, but nothing compares to the face-to-face interaction. Even talking on the phone these last few days with all of my friends has been more comforting than chatting online.

Home and Christmas and such...

It was great to fly home on Christmas day! I ran into someone who knew Phillip at SEATAC. Turns out he lives in Seattle and we're flying back on the same flight (Monday evening). Perhaps we'll see each other again...maybe even get together in Seattle for some havoc. :)

It's weird to not be at work...this has been an incredibly nice vacation and I have enjoyed not working. But it's also been hard because I haven't seen anyone in about a week and a half. Getting snowed in in Magnolia is kind of a PITA. The roads are closed and I can't take my car anywhere. That means I watch a lot of TV. Boooo! Some TV is good...I can enjoy bits and pieces, but to constantly be watching TV and different shows...my brain just dies. Thank goodness for the friends that could get around. They would pick me up and take me out. I'd get to visit people and play games and do something different.

So the new year is about to start. Crazy...I have some things I need to finish up before the end of the year. Taxes might be one of them...mostly getting my transcript in so I can finally graduate and submitting my address change to the DMV. Now that I live in Magnolia I apparently have to tell everyone so I don't get fined or summed or something weird and then they can't find me and life sucks. Oh well!